Is “Transformation Tuesday” just fat-shaming?

After scrolling through my IG feed and seeing one too many before and after photos, captioned with “look how horrible I used to look?”, I am calling it what it is – “fat-shaming”. Transformation Tuesday photos celebrate our “new self”, but at the cost of saying that our “old self” was lacking, unworthy, stupid, lazy, unmotivated etc.

I am tired of the negative narrative around health and fitness. It denotes that our “old self” was “bad” somehow, just because we didn’t have the motivation or knowledge that our “new self” has. Maybe we were struggling with anxiety or depression, maybe we didn’t have a great health coach or family support, maybe we couldn’t afford healthy foods, maybe our hormones were out of whack. There can be a million reasons why someone is struggling with “weight”!

I think we should move to celebrating where we are at in our health journey and finding positive forms of motivation (like wanting to reduce inflammation, increase mobility and strength etc.). The focus on putting our “old self” down is not body positive, it is fat-shaming.

Here are a few ways that I am reaching to be more body positive:

1. Removing or “unfollowing” accounts from my feed that focus on a negative body narrative. The non-stop shots of abs and before and after photos is not helping me to feel good. And, in order to accomplish my health and fitness goals, I need to feel good about myself and positive about where I am at and where I am going;
2. Showing my progress in a positive way – posting photos of me “walking the walk” by being active or putting together a healthy meal or snack that keep myself motivated (while not triggering myself or others).
3. Being kind to myself if/when I slip. Just focus on getting back to the healthy routine of fitness and eating well for energy and health.

If you want to hear more on this topic – check out Episode 30 of the Learning to Slay the Beasts Podcast on Apple, Google, Spotify, TuneIn and Podbean.

Talking Body Image In the Time Of Coronavirus

Since my move to stop wearing make up to owning my body in a bikini on my winter vacation and even writing a short story on my battle with obesity, body image has been on my mind a lot.

But then the coronavirus hit and it made me question the relevance of wondering and pondering body image. It made me think everything was minor.

Pre-virus, I listened to Episode 82 of the Rise Together podcast where Rachel Hollis interviews her friend Amy Porterfield about her struggles with her weight. They talk about Amy attending Weight Watchers at age 8 and her constant quest to meet a ‘goal weight’. They talk about Amy overcompensating with her perfect hair and high heels to be a woman in spite of her weight. They talk about Amy always questing to be ‘small’.

It all hit hard for me. From the Weight Watchers experience to the quest to be ‘small’. It’s all my story as well. I attended Weight Watchers at age 13 and have always muted myself to appear ‘quiet’ and ‘small’ which I see as more feminine.

I had two significant weight loss journeys, one in high school where I lost about 80 lbs but never hit my goal weight. Another after my daughter was born where I lost 75 lbs. Though the second time I hit my size and weight goal, I never felt the surge in self esteem and still continued to fight my demons of ‘not enough’. I still struggled with my body image and truly being myself and taking up the space that I deserved.

My goal now is a strong mom bod. Allowing myself the imperfections that motherhood brings but being strong enough to play sports with my kids and inspire activity in them and others. My goal is to eat healthfully, not be constantly dieting. My goal is to raise a daughter without body image issues.

I am focussing on good habits like eating whole foods, moving my body daily, being mentally strong and drinking lots of water. I am also not weighing myself and defining myself by my clothes size.

Why is this still relevant in the time of the coronavirus? Because more than ever women need to be strong, resilient, energetic and vibrant. That is pretty hard to do if you haven’t built muscle, strengthened your cardio and your mind! It is also hard to do if you are starving in order to fit into a certain pair of jeans.

When my priorities are challenged by working at home, losing opportunities, and homeschooling my kids, my weight and size feel less relevant, including the idea of a ‘goal weight’! It is time to focus on real priorities like eating well, moving our bodies, sleeping and loving each other.

 

A Baby Story

I love hearing birth stories! After listening to the recent birth story on the Ultimate Health Podcast, I reflected on the stories of the births of my two children and I thought I would share them with you! Listen to my Podcast ‘Learning to Slay the Beasts’ on Apple Podcasts, Google Play and Podbean to hear the full stories!

On the Podcast, I share two completely different birth stories. The story of my first born that was definitely clinical, long and drawn out. I just remember being in a dim, grey hospital room for a long time. And of course the ‘ring of fire’!

Then the story of my daughter that was as fast as a Domino’s pizza delivery, but with all the pain!

In the end, both babies were healthy and I couldn’t love them more! It just shows that the path never goes the way you expect, but the finish line can be magical.

I would love to hear your baby stories, please share them with me in the comments section!

The Four Tendencies

I have always felt that Gretchen Rubin has my career. I remember when I heard of and read the book, The Happiness Project, I was just becoming a more serious writer and considering it as a career. I thought to myself, darn, I could have done that! Like me, Rubin doesn’t write fiction, but researches and writes non-fiction stories. Truthfully, until I read her book I didn’t realize that was a genre.

Though I feel like I could have come up with and written The Happiness Project, I don’t feel that way about her most recent book, The Four Tendencies.

In The Four Tendencies, Rubin describes four key personality profiles based on how you meet both inner and outer expectations. She then moves onto how these profiles impact and drive habits, careers, relationships and really everything in your life!

The four tendencies are:

• Upholder (21%) – meets inner and outer expectations;
• Rebel (17%) – meets neither inner nor outer expectations;
• Obliger (41%) – meets outer expectations; and
• Questioner (24%) – meets inner expectations.

Though they do overlap with each other slightly, Rubin explains that the tendencies are hardwired, they don’t change with your upbringing, gender, age, birth order, where you work/live or who your friends are.

Knowing your own tendency can help you be successful and knowing the tendency of others can help persuade, encourage, avoid conflict with and understand them.

I am a classic Upholder. I like ‘to do’ lists, challenges and calendars. I take orders well, be it from a boss, a personal trainer or a doctor. I have often struggled with why some people get the same advice as me and don’t use it. This book has helped explain my personality so much to me, and why I react differently than my family, friends, and children. It has also explained why my husband, a Rebel, does not respond the same way to calendars and ‘to-do’ lists that I do!

Intrigued? Take the quiz!

Listen to my podcast review of the book (Learning to Slay the Beasts is available on Podbean, Google Play and Apple Podcasts).

 

Podcasts to get you through all that you do…

On my Podcast – Learning to Slay the Beasts – I recently shared all of my favourite podcasts! I love podcasts from those that tell stories, to those that motivate me and give me tips to live by!

I promised that I would share the names for those that I reviewed and my favourite episodes:

– Rise (EP. 72, 78);

– Rise Together (EP. 82, 56, 62);

– Start Today Morning Show;

– Ultimate Health Podcast (Jul.23, 2019, Jul.30, 2019, Nov.12, 2019);

– Ken Coleman Show (Nov.7,2019);

– Anxiety Coaches Podcast (EP. 562, 529);

– How I Built This (EP. Shopify).

The Learning to Slay the Beasts Podcast is available on Podbean, Apple Podcasts, Google Play.

Make Your Fitness Resolution Stick

The gym was busy this week. It’s New Years Resolution time and people are keen to get fit. I am one of those people that works out faithfully. I am at the gym every week, but I don’t like to act inconvenienced when its busy in January. I hear a lot of people making the comments about things calming down in a few weeks when all the ‘new people’ give up.

I was one of those people with a New Years Resolution six years ago and yes, it stuck and I still work out eight to ten times per week now.

So – why did it stick for me?

1. I got help from a trainer

Nobody wants to hear this because it costs more money, but trainers are helpful. You don’t know what you don’t know and if you aren’t fit, you don’t know how to work out properly. You wouldn’t try to cut and highlight your own hair, you would go to a professional that could do it right. You wouldn’t try to fix your own car, you would go to a mechanic. So, why do you think you can fix your own body?

Maybe if you are already in good shape and you just want to do a little more, then you are fine on your own. But, if you are looking for a big transformation, then get help. This is not an ad by the way, I don’t train people for a living.

My trainer was able to educate me and answer the ‘why’ on so many things. I needed to fully understand what I was doing in my workouts in order for it to stick for me. I also needed feedback and encouragement.

I worked with her for over a year, but I saw a ton of a progress and learned how to design my own programs and workout on my own. This knowledge keeps me engaged in fitness six year later.

2. I built in flexibility and variety

I work out in my home gym. I run outside. I work out at a gym on my lunch break near my office. I go to a yoga studio. I do boot camps outside in a friend’s backyard in the evenings. I do a bootcamp at a local recreation centre. I participate in outdoor free fitness events. I go to run clubs. I hike. I walk.

Am I bragging? Maybe a bit. But my point is that you need variety and flexibility to fit in enough movement throughout your week. Maybe walking or biking to work will work for you.

My job is completely sedentary, so I need to find movement everyday. I have a busy life and two kids so if I bank on working out at night every day it just won’t happen, something will get in the way.

So – I work out in the mornings before work, and at lunch and if I happen to miss both of those, I work out in the evenings. I work out on weekdays and then use weekends to make up my missed work outs. This allows me to work out eight to ten times a week and combat my sedentary job as well as be energetic with my kids.

3. I stopped coming up with excuses

A lot of people make comments about the fact that I work out on my lunch break. I always hear, ‘I can’t do that’, ‘my job doesn’t allow for it’. No, actually, you don’t allow for it.

I used to be guilty of these excuses too. I would see coworkers going to the gym at lunch and think, ‘I don’t want to get all sweaty’. Or, ‘I won’t have time to eat my lunch’. Or, ‘I don’t want people from work to see me all sweaty while I am working out’.  Or, ‘if I take the time to work out, I won’t get my work done and will have to stay late’.

If you really wanted to get some movement on your break, you would. First, you would actually prioritize taking a break and leaving the office (read: not taking your lunch break on your social media accounts on your phone at your desk). You will actually be way more productive in the afternoon after leaving at lunch. Working through your lunch just makes you slow and inefficient.

Second, you would find movement that works for you. No gym around? Go for a walk or run. Don’t want to get too sweaty? Then do a lighter exercise, like the elliptical trainer or bike instead of running. Get in your yoga or strength training. Some people find swimming with a swim cap works well at lunch or aquafit. I find that if I put my hair in a bun, then shower my body quickly afterwards and re-apply deodorant than I am fresh enough for the afternoon. It’s not like I ran a marathon at lunch!

So now that you’ve worked out on your lunch break, when do you eat? Eat whenever, it’s not your priority. Eat a protein bar on your walk back to your office. Drink a smoothie from a thermos during your meetings. Who cares?! You got a work out in. You can get a nice meal at dinner.

4. Giving up on perfect

Not every workout will be your best ever. Maybe you like to work out for 45 minutes but you can’t fit it in on your lunch. Well, 25 minutes of movement is better than nothing. If you get too sweaty running on your lunch, then walk, or do some yoga or strength. Make it a priority to run in the evening or on the weekends when you have more time to stretch and shower afterwards and dry your hair.

In the End:

If you want to be successful you need to stop putting up your own barriers and make it happen. You can do this. It’s movement, not rocket science. You just need to give yourself as many options as possible to find movement in your life.

 

PANDAS and PANS

There is a relatively little known disorder that has effectively become the bane of my existence.

As I have outlined on the blog, my daughter has food allergies and more recently, she has developed asthma, which I understand tend to coexist. I hate this for her. I am terrified of potential reactions. I feel her frustration in having to take epipens everywhere, and now inhalers, and truthfully, it’s tough for mom to remember them as well!

But, there is a clear path for managing allergies. There are tests that can prove that they exist. There is medication available for doctors to prescribe. There are resources on how to best avoid the foods and handling difficult situations and reactions. There are support groups for those that have food allergies. There are teal pumpkins at Halloween and nut-free schools. There are laws that require foods to be properly labelled.

Yes, much more can be done, including a cure, and there is no doubt in my mind that all of this infrastructure took tons of effort by those families affected by food allergies.

But then there’s my son. He has a disorder called PANDAS. And there is nothing. There is virtually no help available for him, his family, his teachers, even his doctors. There are bits of information becoming available but it has been so slow while he continues to struggle with the disorder. Don’t get me wrong, every bit of progress is something, but the struggle to help him is real. The fact that a disorder has to be normalized and publicized in order for help to be provided is frustrating. Do I need a celebrity to promote PANDAS in order for it to be taken seriously?

PANDAS is a neuroimmune disorder, Pediatric Automimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorder Associated with Streptococcus. The brain becomes inflamed as the body produces antibodies that it believes are needed to fight a nonexistent Strep virus. It manifests itself through tics, OCD, anxiety and other symptoms. The response is essentially a mix of behavioural and autoimmune issues.

This disorder is virtually unknown beyond those of us that have children with it. That leads to quizzical looks from teachers and doctors alike. It means no funding, no resources and no clear path forward to a cure, or even treatment.

It leads to second guessing your parenting constantly as the rollercoaster ride continues for your child. It leads to frustration with the medical system as the uncertainty of the health profile of your child continues. It leads to a waste of time, effort and money as one constantly tries to find treatment that all seem to be dead ends or snake oil. It leads to ongoing heartache, stress and pain.

PANDAS is real, as are the feelings that the child and family experience, and they need to be taken seriously. I want to be part of the solution but that is challenging while also being weighed down by the disorder.

#PANDAS #PANS #neuroimmune