Talking Body Image In the Time Of Coronavirus

Since my move to stop wearing make up to owning my body in a bikini on my winter vacation and even writing a short story on my battle with obesity, body image has been on my mind a lot.

But then the coronavirus hit and it made me question the relevance of wondering and pondering body image. It made me think everything was minor.

Pre-virus, I listened to Episode 82 of the Rise Together podcast where Rachel Hollis interviews her friend Amy Porterfield about her struggles with her weight. They talk about Amy attending Weight Watchers at age 8 and her constant quest to meet a ‘goal weight’. They talk about Amy overcompensating with her perfect hair and high heels to be a woman in spite of her weight. They talk about Amy always questing to be ‘small’.

It all hit hard for me. From the Weight Watchers experience to the quest to be ‘small’. It’s all my story as well. I attended Weight Watchers at age 13 and have always muted myself to appear ‘quiet’ and ‘small’ which I see as more feminine.

I had two significant weight loss journeys, one in high school where I lost about 80 lbs but never hit my goal weight. Another after my daughter was born where I lost 75 lbs. Though the second time I hit my size and weight goal, I never felt the surge in self esteem and still continued to fight my demons of ‘not enough’. I still struggled with my body image and truly being myself and taking up the space that I deserved.

My goal now is a strong mom bod. Allowing myself the imperfections that motherhood brings but being strong enough to play sports with my kids and inspire activity in them and others. My goal is to eat healthfully, not be constantly dieting. My goal is to raise a daughter without body image issues.

I am focussing on good habits like eating whole foods, moving my body daily, being mentally strong and drinking lots of water. I am also not weighing myself and defining myself by my clothes size.

Why is this still relevant in the time of the coronavirus? Because more than ever women need to be strong, resilient, energetic and vibrant. That is pretty hard to do if you haven’t built muscle, strengthened your cardio and your mind! It is also hard to do if you are starving in order to fit into a certain pair of jeans.

When my priorities are challenged by working at home, losing opportunities, and homeschooling my kids, my weight and size feel less relevant, including the idea of a ‘goal weight’! It is time to focus on real priorities like eating well, moving our bodies, sleeping and loving each other.

 

The Four Tendencies

I have always felt that Gretchen Rubin has my career. I remember when I heard of and read the book, The Happiness Project, I was just becoming a more serious writer and considering it as a career. I thought to myself, darn, I could have done that! Like me, Rubin doesn’t write fiction, but researches and writes non-fiction stories. Truthfully, until I read her book I didn’t realize that was a genre.

Though I feel like I could have come up with and written The Happiness Project, I don’t feel that way about her most recent book, The Four Tendencies.

In The Four Tendencies, Rubin describes four key personality profiles based on how you meet both inner and outer expectations. She then moves onto how these profiles impact and drive habits, careers, relationships and really everything in your life!

The four tendencies are:

• Upholder (21%) – meets inner and outer expectations;
• Rebel (17%) – meets neither inner nor outer expectations;
• Obliger (41%) – meets outer expectations; and
• Questioner (24%) – meets inner expectations.

Though they do overlap with each other slightly, Rubin explains that the tendencies are hardwired, they don’t change with your upbringing, gender, age, birth order, where you work/live or who your friends are.

Knowing your own tendency can help you be successful and knowing the tendency of others can help persuade, encourage, avoid conflict with and understand them.

I am a classic Upholder. I like ‘to do’ lists, challenges and calendars. I take orders well, be it from a boss, a personal trainer or a doctor. I have often struggled with why some people get the same advice as me and don’t use it. This book has helped explain my personality so much to me, and why I react differently than my family, friends, and children. It has also explained why my husband, a Rebel, does not respond the same way to calendars and ‘to-do’ lists that I do!

Intrigued? Take the quiz!

Listen to my podcast review of the book (Learning to Slay the Beasts is available on Podbean, Google Play and Apple Podcasts).

 

Self Care During Times of High Anxiety

I will start by saying that I did not want to do a blog post about COVID-19. But, during this challenging time worldwide, I can’t think about much else and felt like I needed to collect my thoughts.

Anxiety is running high right now. I can feel it in myself and in others. We all have unique situations in dealing with this. Here is a list of things that I am doing right now for self care, while in self isolation with my family:
– Meditation -I am trying as best as I can to stick with my twice a day practice. It has been more challenging to find the quiet times around the house for this and quite frankly I don’t feel like doing it. I am still doing my ZIVA technique but trying to do guided meditations (like through the @onepeloton app) when that is more challenging.
– Outdoor time – Forest bathing. Vitamin D. Fresh air. Enough said.
– Movement – Bumping myself up to being active three times per day to keep myself energetic. I have also put up an exercise chart in the living room listing different exercises we can do as we walk back by it (40 jumping jacks, 25 push ups, 10 burpees etc.).
– Music – Putting on more music to keep our energy up and change our moods.
– FaceTime Loved Ones – Use whatever video conferencing works for you, but it is nice to see others (not just text them!).
– Watching what media we are consuming – Turn off the news for a bit. Get off social if the feed is dragging you down! I needed to get off Facebook for a while.
– Allow each other to feel the ups and downs – Hold space for your family who may experience the downs at different times and just be there for them. We all process things differently.
– Podcasts – Listening to the Start Today Morning Show has been helpful and positive. Also, the Anxiety Coaches Podcast has helped when I need to calm down.
– Laughing – Tell jokes, watch a comedy, read something funny.
– Reading – Find a story that will captivate your mind for a while.
– Get up an hour early – This has allowed me to have a little alone time and keep my head together.
– Gratitude – Keep up those journals!
– Routine – Stick with your routine as best you can (but maybe get more sleep!).

Remember there is no perfect way to deal with this pandemic.

If you would like to hear the podcast version of this material, check out the ‘Learning to Slay the Beasts’ podcast on Google Play, Apple Podcasts or Podbean.